


all the styrofoam began to melt away

by sarahyyy



Series: Functional Heartburn [3]
Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-21
Updated: 2014-07-21
Packaged: 2018-02-09 19:42:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1995474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahyyy/pseuds/sarahyyy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Oh,” Enjolras says, and sighs before he sits down on the nearest bed. “This isn’t a sexy on-call room trip.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	all the styrofoam began to melt away

**Author's Note:**

> From [this idea](http://sarah-yyy.tumblr.com/post/92129080578/greys-au-maybe-one-of-them-has-opportunity-for-a) an anon had. There is a remarkable lack of angry sex here, but hey, at least this one has no one dying in it.

Enjolras is grinning when Grantaire pulls him into the on-call room and locks the door behind him, grinning like he’s happy, like everything is alright, like he didn’t just turn down the most prestigious job offer from the best hospital in the country, and Grantaire? Grantaire is fucking _furious_.

“You turned the job down?” he yells, and Enjolras’ hands stills on the hem of his shirt, where he’d been preparing to get it off. 

“Oh,” Enjolras says, and sighs before he sits down on the nearest bed. “This isn’t a sexy on-call room trip.”

“This isn’t a sexy on-call room trip,” Grantaire confirms. “This is a _what the fuck is going on in your head_ on-call room trip.” He starts pacing, because he does that when he’s frustrated. “You’ve been preparing for the interviews, you’ve been working so hard to get this job. Why the hell would you turn it down?”

Enjolras shrugs. “It didn’t feel right.” He pats the space on the bed next to him. “Come sit down. You’re making me dizzy with your pacing, and I have a surgery later. I’m doing a procedure together with Eponine. Has she told you about her miracle orthopaedic patient yet? Because it’s-”

“Stop trying to distract me from talking about this,” Grantaire growls.

Enjolras sighs. “I don’t know what you want me to say,” he tells Grantaire. “When I applied for the job, I thought it would be the right fit for me. Eight months down the road, my priorities and needs have shifted, the job didn’t fit anymore.”

Grantaire stops pacing and stares at Enjolras for a long moment. “The job didn’t fit anymore- _What the hell_?” Enjolras got a page two nights ago while they were in the middle of screwing each other’s brains out, and he’d startled and fell off the bed. Maybe he hit his head too hard, at least that would explain the amount of insanity he’s showing right now. “No-one turns down a job like this,” Grantaire says. “No-one’s ever turned down a job from them.”

“I have,” Enjolras says matter-of-factly. “I just did.” 

“But you can’t!” Grantaire says. “You are supposed to accept the job and we are supposed to throw you a congratulatory party and then a farewell party and you are supposed to fly to the other end of the country and set up shop there and make medical history! That’s what you’ve wanted for _ages_ , you can’t suddenly not want that anymore.”

“Well,” Enjolras says slowly, and the way he’s looking at Grantaire right now is unnerving. It’s the same look he gives Grantaire every time he drops a bomb on him, the same look he has on every time he says something that completely shatters Grantaire’s world view. “I found that I wanted something else more.”

Grantaire stares at him, horrified. “You didn’t,” he hisses. 

“I did,” Enjolras says, and then reaches out to catch one of Grantaire’s hand in his, trying to tug him closer. “Do you want to sit down now?”

Grantaire does because his knees feel weak. He tries to put some distance between them when he sits down, but Enjolras just shifts closer until their shoulders are pressed together. 

“You can’t just turn the most amazing job offer down because you’re under the impression that I am someone worth liking,” Grantaire says softly. “When you finally get your bearings right about me, you’re going to resent me and never speak to me again. I’m going to be the person you blame for throwing your ten year plan off its track forever, and that’s not okay. I can’t be the person who ruins your life.” He pries his hand out of Enjolras’. “You need to accept the job offer.”

“Grantaire, look at me,” Enjolras says gently. 

Grantaire stares stoically at his hands. He doesn’t want to look at Enjolras, because the chances of him giving in and letting Enjolras do whatever he wants with his life instead of nudging him back in the right direction will increase exponentially the longer he has to look at Enjolras, and he won’t let himself do this.

“R,” Enjolras says, and reaches out to take Grantaire’s hand, gripping it tightly when Grantaire tries to pull away again. “R, please look at me.”

Grantaire has no self-control around Enjolras. He knew that from the start, from the moment he met Enjolras at the bar and went back home with him. He knew that from the start, and he should’ve nipped the thing between the in the bud when it started. 

He turns over to look at Enjolras. 

“I didn’t turn down the job because I thought you were someone worth liking,” Enjolras says, face serious. “I turned down the job because the idea of being 700 miles away from you makes my head spin. I turned down the job because the idea of not being able to see you every day when I come into work makes my chest hurt. I turned down the job because _I love you_.” He breaks off, cups Grantaire’s face in his hands and leans in to press their foreheads together. “You’re not just someone worth liking to me,” he whispers into the space between them, like it’s a secret. “You’re the man I love. I love you.” 

“Enjolras,” Grantaire breathes, and closes the gap between their lips, mashing their lips together in a clumsy kiss, because in that moment, he can think of anything else he would rather be doing than clinging onto Enjolras and kissing him with everything he’s got in him. 

He goes easily when Enjolras pushes him back down to the bed, whines when Enjolras has to pull away to take off his shirt, leaning up on his elbows to chase Enjolras’ lips. The look Enjolras gives him is heated and fond, and he leans down again, dragging his tongue up the side of Grantaire’s neck, biting softly at his jaw before he kisses Grantaire again, fingers tangling into Grantaire’s hair. Grantaire can feel the way Enjolras’ lips stretch into a smile when he curls his hand around Enjolras’ neck to pull him closer. 

And oh, this is dangerous, this is too dangerous, and Grantaire has always been the kind of person to run at the first sign of danger. He’s got fantastic survival instincts, it’s one of the things about himself he’s really proud of, but his instincts are all off where Enjolras is concerned because he wants to stay, wants to arch up into Enjolras’ touch, wants to say it back, wants to tell Enjolras that he feels the same way too, that he possibly feels even more strongly for Enjolras than Enjolras does him, but it’s not the right thing to do.

He knows what the right thing to do is, and he’s going to do it, even if it means that he doesn’t get to be happy, even if it means that he has to hurt Enjolras’ feelings for now.

He presses his hand gently to Enjolras’ chest and pushes him away, steels himself when the hurt, wounded look makes its way across Enjolras’ features as he pulls away from Grantaire, tells himself that it’s not okay for him to reel him back in and kiss him until he stops looking so sad, and says, “This is not allowed.”

Enjolras nods, and tugs his shirt back on again. 

“The feelings you have for me,” Grantaire starts. He swallows when Enjolras looks up at him, face carefully blank, but he doesn’t look away. He can’t be the first one to look away. “That’s not allowed too.”

“Okay,” Enjolras says, voice hollow, and Grantaire feels no satisfaction at all when Enjolras looks away and starts making his way to the door. 

Grantaire’s chest feels too tight, and it feels almost like his heart is trying to hammer its way out of his ribcage, and he feels suddenly irrationally afraid that this is going to be the time where Enjolras walks away and doesn’t come back, which is stupid, because that’s what Grantaire wants, that’s what Grantaire has been pushing for since the very beginning.

“Enjolras,” he blurts out when Enjolras’ hand closes on the doorknob. Enjolras stills, but he doesn’t look back. Grantaire tries to tell himself that it’s a bad idea, that he should just let Enjolras walk out with his heart broken, but he says, instead, “I’m glad you’re staying.”

Enjolras’ hand falls from the doorknob.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm [here on Tumblr](http://sarah-yyy.tumblr.com/), come say hi!


End file.
